Civil War: The Road to Gettysburg

Who's been in my diary?! A turn based Civil War game for my cell phone!? Fight your way as Union or Conferderate in squad/brigade/more-than-one-unit based combat across battlefields on your way to the big show in Pennsylvania. Enemy units die into money so you can afford things between battles like 'Infantry' and 'Artillery'. Units that stay alive have experience at killin' and killin' they more better do, but when you upgrade to better units you can kiss all those campaign ribbons goodbye. This was fun for the month, but I found myself winning against tougher troops in later levels simply by figuring out holes in the AI's defenses and not with my tactical genius. Eg. shelling troops without reprisal if you're parked in JUST the right spot. But you can switch from Confederate to Union for a whole different gaming experience, right? Not unless changing the color of your troops from gray to blue is fun(ny). This is fun for a month subscription but don't... reenlist in THIS army, General!

GRAPHICS: 3(surprisingly colorful)

FUN: 4

REPLAYABILITY: Saw lots of action during the month of June.

STATUS: Honorably Discharged.

Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith

Amazingly, this is worse than the movie. Your featureless visage scrolls east, swatting things with your lasersword until they are dead, dead, dead. Granted many games accomplish this with entertaining results, but the creators of SWRoS(an abbrv. never to be used again) must have thought the Star Wars mythos would compensate for the flat graphics and boring gameplay. With every swat your force bar grows until you blow it all on one swing at Darth Boss So-and-so. But wait, is there platform jumping? You're damn right there is.

GRAPHICS: 1

FUN: 1

REPLAYABILITY: 1

STATUS: Subscribed and cancelled.

PUBLISHER: Grand Moth Jerkface